Cue months and months of planning, fittings and re-fittings, not to mention a small fortune personal loan to afford the perfect gown, et voila.

But, with the wedding season now in full swing, it's time to spare a thought for the poor guests You see, they have to get it right.

First there are those professional photos which are the eternal reminder of wedding dressing gone wrong.

Then there's the array of old friends to catch up with – no-one wants to look less than their gleaming best for a first meeting in years, especially when the ex is there with his knocked-up new girlfriend.

Which leaves the guests – well, the female guests, for the blokes are all set to go with a Bonnie Prince Charlie kilt ensemble or smart suit – wondering what to wear.

Do you play it safe and resurrect that trusty white trouser suit? Or opt for a plain insipid dress? Or do you head to the high street, choose the latest high-fashion find and throw caution to the wind by going bold. And potentially peeving the bride.

There are also the dress codes. White tie, black tie, cocktail attire, casual attire . . . you name it, it's now there.

At a recent wedding I attended, one guest of the bride rocked up to the church in a pair of cowboy boots, a denim skirt and a T-shirt, while the rest of us opted for summer dresses. There's casual – and then there's casual.

There's also the worry of someone turning up in the same outfit. Heinous at the best of times, but even worse at a wedding, as you can't escape the clone who always seems to have worn it better.

Then there's the colour. Opt for head-to-toe summery white and you risk upstaging the bride. Never a good thing. Go for black and you may be confused for the funeral that's happening later on at the church. And sheer fabrics? Just don't do it. Camera flashes, day light and most likely sunshine equals see-through ensembles. Been there, done that – and all my mates have the picture.

You see? Wedding dressing is really just a pain in the hair-piece. Thank god for the free booze.